The single life vs the couples life

June 26, 2017 rmaddox

Over the years, I have witnessed countless debates regarding the benefits of being single versus being in a relationship. Some people believe that a person’s gender may provide an advantage to being single. I think we can all agree that there are benefits to being single and being in a relationship, regardless of your gender.

First, let’s list some possible benefits for a single person in today’s society.

  • You can save money and improve your financial situation
  • If you are single, you do not have to give a reason for going somewhere or what time you come home
  • If you properly use your time outside of a relationship, you can focus on your goals or personal growth
  • You do not have to deal with another person’s emotional or dramatic issues
  • Your primary obligation is you (or your children if you have them)
  • Traveling is less expensive, and you can decide where you want to go

Now let’s list a few possible benefits of being in a relationship. For this article, I am discussing healthy relationships.

  • You have someone who can balance the finances
  • You have someone special to enjoy vacations and outings with, which is always a plus
  • You can support each other in achieving your goals and growing together
  • You have emotional support when things become difficult at work or with family
  • You have someone to come home to, as well as call when you need assistance
  • Being part of a healthy relationship means you get to share life’s little moments and the joys of caring for someone special in your life

After reading the benefits of being single and being in a relationship, it appears the benefits for both sides cancel each other out. Do you think it would be fair to say that there are no real benefits to being single or in a relationship, and that the actual benefits are the personal qualities and characteristics of the individual or couple?

To examine this idea further, let’s break down the benefits for each side and determine why the benefits listed above may not be relevant to the debate. I will also present some reasons why the individual should be the focus for determining the benefits of being single or in a relationship.

Money

When it comes to money, it will always have an impact on the life of an individual or a couple. Earlier, I mentioned how a single person could become more financially secure and how a couple could balance each other out financially.

Neither someone who’s single nor a couple can become financially secure without commitment and self- control, in reality. To become financially secure, it takes a high level of commitment to remain focused on your budget and setting spending limits. You also need a strong sense of self-control to build financial security. Whether you are single or in a relationship, you must actively incorporate self-control into your daily lifestyle to help control your spending habits. The ability to save money or become financially secure are based on the individual and his/her mindset. A single person, as well as a couple, must possess these key qualities to accomplish this task.

Emotional Support

When it comes to financial loss, death, stress, heartbreak, depression, illness, and fatigue, life has no concern for your relationship status. At some point, each of us will face one or more of these areas, which will require some form of emotional support.

Whenever a person encounters a crisis in their life, having a friend or mate who is understanding, patient, and a good communicator is extremely important. The willingness to offer emotional encouragement appears to be one of the most underutilized resources of our generation. We are all guilty of screening our phone calls; that is not to say a person is not justified in taking this action in certain situations. We must then, in all fairness, ask if there are any situations in which you have turned away from someone who was going through something out of fear that they were seeking financial assistance. In some instances, the reasons are obvious for suspecting that certain individuals are only looking for some form of financial assistance. But we must learn to recognize those who need emotional encouragement. Emotional encouragement can be a powerful tool if used with sincerity to truly motivate someone. Have you ever noticed how a person’s face lights up with the simplest compliment such as, ‘you handled yourself well today’ or ‘you did a great job’?

It does not make a difference if you are single or in a relationship, we all need a good emotional support system. The Mayo Clinic recommends, since your supportive families, friends, and co-workers are such an important part of your life, it’s never too soon to cultivate these important relationships. 

Goals/Personal Growth

Everyone has one or more goals they would like to accomplish. As a single person, you have the luxury of pursuing your goals without having to consult a significant other. Being single allows you to engage your time and resources in your goals fully. Like all things in life, there is the alternative side of being single. While you may have the luxury to go after your goals with gusto, all the responsibilities that come with maintaining the household and financial obligations are also on your shoulders. So, you will need to use good judgment and create a strong strategic plan to achieve your objectives.

If you are in a relationship, then you have the emotional and financial support to take more risk while pursuing your goals. One of the key benefits for those in a relationship is having someone to communicate with about their goals and help keep them on track. Now let’s look at the opposite side of the relationship when it comes to goals. Relationships are based on teamwork and communication. Unlike singles who can pursue their goals with limited consultation, individuals in a relationship should fully disclose long- and short-term goals to their mate. Failure to communicate your goals could lead to confrontation and resentment with your mate. The reason for disclosing this information is to coordinate a strategic plan for both individuals to achieve their goals. Anytime a person maintains a single-like mentality when involved in a committed relationship, problems are bound to occur.

If you are going to achieve your goals, then you must remain organized and focused on your strategic plan. The process of working towards your goals will add to your personal growth and development. It doesn’t matter if you are single or in a relationship, you will need these qualities to succeed.

 

Leisure Time

Here lies the foundation for most people regarding the benefits of being single versus being in a relationship. The average single person will love the option of being able to come and go as they please without having to justify their daily activities and locations. Those in a relationship can always counter with the fact that they have someone to come home to and go out with which means no lonely nights. As I mentioned previously in this article, there are pros and cons to both situations

                                     ProsSingle                                                                         ConsSingle

No time limit for staying out at night or after work You wake up with someone to talk to about things at night
You decide when and where you go. Not always fun doing things alone or looking for a travel/hangout partner
No pressure during the holidays for gifts Holidays may seem important (Valentine’s Day)

 

                                ProsRelationship                                                              ConsRelationship

Someone to create special memories with Arguments can affect leisure time
You can enjoy movie night at home, cuddling Coordinating activities can be difficult
Having someone to call or talk to during the day Having confrontations with your mate when the both of you are at work can be embarrassing

 

In regard to leisure time, people must learn not only the habits of their mate, but a single person should learn to recognize their own habits. There are various ways individuals prefer to spend their leisure time after work or on the weekend. Leisure time can be 15 minutes of unwinding with a glass of wine or just sitting outside with a book. Unless you communicate needs and determine positive ways to utilize your leisure time, don’t be surprised if you discover later in life that you wasted a lot of time. Don’t forget life doesn’t stop because of your relationship status.

 

Whatever you want out of life, use your best qualities to push yourself ahead. It doesn’t matter if you are single or in a relationship, this will not effect your purpose in life. To have a New Life-New Mind, you have to have a plan for reaching your goals. In your plan, make sure you list people in your social network who are inspirational and want to see you succeed. Always remember it’s the heart and spirit of a person that makes them strive for greatness, not their relationship status.